By Mthokozisi Nkosi, ASC Food Safety Training. Reviewed 21 September 2026.
Short answer: listen without interrupting, show that you understand, apologise once and sincerely, say exactly what you will do and by when, then tell your supervisor and go back to check that the guest is satisfied. The steps spell LEARN: Listen, Empathise, Apologise, Resolve, Notify.
Why complaints are worth welcoming
Most unhappy guests say nothing. They pay, leave, and do not return. The guest who complains is giving you the chance the silent ones never give you: the chance to put it right while they are still in the building.
The five LEARN steps
- Listen. Stop what you are doing, face the guest and let them finish. Do not interrupt, defend yourself or blame a colleague or the kitchen.
- Empathise. Show that you understand how it feels from their side: “I understand, and I can see why that is frustrating.”
- Apologise. Once, sincerely, without excuses: “I am sorry that happened.”
- Resolve. Say what you will do and by when, and offer a choice where you can. If it is beyond your authority, fetch a manager and tell the guest you are doing so.
- Notify and follow up. Tell your supervisor, record it, and return to the guest to confirm they are happy.
What it sounds like
“Thank you for telling me. I’m sorry your room wasn’t ready as promised. Let me store your luggage and bring you coffee in the lounge, and I will come and find you personally the moment it is ready, within thirty minutes.”
Words that calm, and words that inflame
| Instead of | Say |
|---|---|
| “I don’t know.” | “Let me find out for you.” |
| “We can’t do that.” | “What I can do is…” |
| “You’ll have to wait.” | “It will be about ten minutes. May I bring you something while you wait?” |
| “That’s not my section.” | “I’ll get your waiter for you right away.” |
| “Calm down.” | “I can hear this has been frustrating. Let me help.” |
Tone matters as much as words. Guests take in your words, your voice and your body language together, and when they disagree, the guest believes the voice and the body. Keep your voice lower and slower than the guest’s, your posture open and your hands visible.
When a complaint becomes abuse
Staff are not expected to absorb abuse. If a guest is threatening, intoxicated or insulting, step back, stay polite and fetch a manager. Safety comes first.
Prevent the complaint in the first place
Many complaints start as small communication failures:
- Repeat orders back and write them down.
- Check back within two minutes or two bites of serving a course.
- Present specials clearly, including the price, using Name, Describe, Recommend.
- Hand over properly at shift change: promises made, open problems, guests with special requirements.
- Never guess about ingredients, allergens or religious dietary requirements. Find out.
Practise it before you need it
Complaint handling is a skill, and skills come from practice. In pairs, role-play a cold meal after a forty-minute wait, a room that is not ready, and a wrong bill. Work through all five steps aloud, then swap roles.
Our online course Hospitality Service Etiquette, Cultural Sensitivity and Halal & Kosher Awareness builds these skills for food service, hotel and guesthouse teams, with ready-to-use phrases, on-shift practice tasks and a quiz in every module. It also covers professional etiquette, greetings, presentation skills, cultural sensitivity, and Halal and Kosher meal practices. It is a non-accredited short course with a QR-verified ASC certificate of achievement.
See the course All hospitality and foodservice training, including R638 food handler and persons in charge courses.